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Steven Tyler Braves the High Seas of Mediocrity on ‘American Idol’

Steven Tyler
YouTube / Fox

Steven Tyler boarded an aircraft carrier for tonight’s (Jan. 22) episode of ‘American Idol,’ but not before complaining that he was about to “listen to 40 different people sing the same Adele song for six %$#$ hours.”

To which we’d say, yeah, well nobody around here asked you to be on this show (and by extension, force us to spend our nights covering it), dude. We’d all be much happier if you were finishing up the new Aerosmith record.

But duty and adventure called, so Tyler boarded the ship outfitted with a big goofy leather hat and aviator googles, and bravely endured a parade of Hollywood hopefuls singing overdramatic versions of underwritten pop songs.

There was a buxom, barely dressed teenager, Jennifer Diley, from Ohio whose earned a second (and third and fourth) look from the rock legend but didn’t get invited to California. Tyler did give his blessing to Jayrah Gibson, an extremely hyperactive R&B singer who he considered “the whole ball of wax,” as well as several other lucky winners who we met only in a fast-paced montage.

Tyler gamely and gently mocked the ditzy but sweet Aubreee Dieckmeyer’s “Valley Girl” affectations, and the show’s producers found the San Diego Marina’s loud airplane, helicopter noises and boat horns useful in blocking out some of his foul language.

One such low blast gave the singer a chance to make a corny fart joke, and yeah… sigh… he took it. Between that and his butchering of the National Anthem on today’s live NFL AFC Championship game, it’s been quite the day for Tyler. To quote Ron Burgandy, ‘You stay classy, San Diego!”

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