Steven Tyler Casts a ‘Nay’ on ‘American Idol’
Thursdays are elimination nights on ‘American Idol,’ when someone is buried alive and forced to scratch their way to the surface for their very survival. Or, you know, something. Let’s watch Steven Tyler grab a shovel.
The show’s opening segment featured J. Lo’s new video. If you haven’t seen it, there are lots of shots of her scantily-clad and exceedingly well-toned bod and even more shots of her dancer boyfriend (who’s half her age, go girl) fondling her scantily-clad and exceedingly well-toned bod. Oh, and there’s a house beat and an appearance from Pitbull.
We watched it so you didn’t have to. You’re welcome.
Also, boy bands must be back because a British outfit called the Wanted made an appearance and the girls in the audience lost their minds, maybe because the guys in the group look so much like them. (Seriously, girls. We know you’re young, but aim higher.)
As always, Jimmy Iovine was on hand wearing a hat indoors and giving his critiques of the previous night’s performances. He never pulls any punches and he didn’t start tonight, saying about Holly, “She’s approaching this like a high school performer, and last night wasn’t even a great high school performance.” Boom.
He wasn’t wrong — Holly was in the bottom three, joined by Elise (who had an off-night on Wednesday) and the king of the overused falsetto and corkscrew curls, DeAndre.
In the end, DeAndre was the one shoved into the pit and covered in dirt.
And as it turned out, Steven did have a shovel — the judges decided not to use their single save of the season on him, but it wasn’t unanimous. When pressed, J. Lo said she cast a vote to keep him, but was out-numbered by Steven and Randy. Amusingly, neither of them looked sorry about it.
See you next week.